Maybe it was a book, a lecture, or a combination of similar things. Whatever it was, you have a new understanding; you are dedicated to making the present moment the focus of your life. Good riddance, needless suffering!
But wait, if I am so enlightened, why does my significant other still frustrate me so much, and why am I so anxious about the uncertain future? Buddha wouldn’t worry about his bills, and he certainly wouldn’t lose his temper over bad traffic.
Thoughts like these are very common among those just starting off on their journey to consciousness, and before long can have them wondering if they are just fooling themselves with this whole Zen thing. What is forgotten, or perhaps not realized, is that with the exception of a few, most of us take the long path to enlightenment.
The reason for this is that your mind has been constantly trained since you were born, and undoing years and years of destructive thought patterns isn’t as simple as just having a realization. This, however, doesn’t imply that your realization isn’t profoundly true.
The List:
1. Your mind needs time to catch up to your new outlook on life. The reason, despite your epiphany, that you still get frustrated in a traffic jam, is because you have trained your mind to do so. Years and years of reacting negatively to something completely out of your control doesn’t limit your suffering to that particular moment, but reinforces your mind to react the same way in the future. It will take constant mindfulness to stay present in these moments, and you are certainly going to succumb to unconsciousness at times, but given enough time and effort, you will soon find your response to these “unpleasant” situations is one of understanding.
2. Slow down. The simple act of taking your time is a very natural form of meditation. By putting your entire focus on the task at hand your mind will slowly being to settle down. If you do this enough that it becomes a habit, you will notice that in situations that used to trigger anger and frustration, you remain calm and present. In fact, you will probably find it humorous that you used to get upset so easily.
3. Be kind to your mind. As your awareness grows, you will likely notice when you begin to react negatively to an external situation. Don’t punish yourself for not acting “zen like”. If you feel yourself getting frustrated, just let yourself be frustrated. Resisting it will just bury it down deep within you, making you anxious, until it inevitably surfaces in some type of outburst. Instead, consciously observe and feel the frustration in your body. Accept it. Don’t get angry at yourself for reacting this way, but meet these thoughts and emotions with understanding; know that they are nothing more than the result of poor training.
If you want to know peace, it is imperative that you are kind to yourself; particularly inside your own head. Don’t let your mind trick you into holding yourself accountable for thoughts and emotions that are rooted in your unconscious past. Do your best to stay preset. Your mind will catch up in time.
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